im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
