He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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