So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Shame is for Republicans.
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