Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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