where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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