On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
