she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
