you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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