Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
