I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
