just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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