Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
