lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
