Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The adults are the big ones right?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
