She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She bit a glass in half.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
