Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
