I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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