Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
