May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
