You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
