he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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