oh god the rape fog is back!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
