Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
