Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
