just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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