There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
