What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
