the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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