I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
