How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
