he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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