Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
they're like a gay fantastic four
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
