A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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