it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
