When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
