Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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