Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
