wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
