I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
