So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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