if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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