I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
