I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
