If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
