I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
