Everything about him screamed your future.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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