So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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