You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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