Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
