shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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