Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
