Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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