dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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